


Family First

by Ninibells



Category: Billary - Fandom
Genre: Billary, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-11-13 17:18:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11189733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ninibells/pseuds/Ninibells
Summary: Billary AU set 2002





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys so this is my first fiction. Please don't throw tomatoes at me ;) anyways all feedback is really appreciated thanks :)

He watched her from across the room as she delicately put on her small diamond earrings a gift he had bought her for her last birthday smiling to himself as he watched her reflection in the mirror as she fixed her lipstick trying to settle on the perfect colour to match her dark green dress, she had been through two outfits already and two shades of lipstick and the third wasn’t satisfying her need for perfection any better than the previous two, she put it away and went back to looking for the one that was nowhere to be found, so focused on the task at hand she felt herself jump a little as his two strong arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her back to reality.

  
“Honey you scared me” she chuckled playfully as he stooped to rest his cheek to hers.

  
“I’m sorry, I needed a closer look” He chuckled. “You’re just too gorgeous, why are you so anxious?”

  
“You know very well” she rolled her eyes playfully as he kissed her gently behind the ear.

  
“Why? Oh come on it’s going to be fine, its Chelsea’s big day. Nothing will spoil it I promise”

  
“You promise?” She smiled at him sceptically specifically remembering Chelsea’s last birthday and watching the secret service break up a fist fight between her husband and the then president of the United States in the middle of dinner.

  
“Of course I promise, I would never do anything to ruin Chelsea’s graduation you know that. Anyway it’s just the ceremony he’s going straight to New York after it.”

  
“It’s just been a tough few years for her since the divorce. I want her to have a really great day and not have to worry about you and Bill killing each other.” She sighed and he turned her to face him.

  
“It will be fine honey”

  
“I just don’t want a repeat performance of her birthday Peter” she warned seriously.

  
“Hill that wasn’t my fault, I promise you I will not ruin Chelsea’s day. She’s going to have the best graduation ever.” Peter smiled and kissed his wife softly and stroked her cheek.

  
“There is only one problem?” Peter teased.

  
“Oh yea? What’s that?” She knew exactly where this was going.

  
“You are far too hot to leave this room, how am I going to keep my hands off you?” he kissed her neck causing her to burst into a fit of giggles.

  
“Stttopp, honey please” she half laughed half begged as she knew she wouldn’t be able to resist him if he started, gently pushing her against the sink and kissed her deeply and she responded the same way until the door opened abruptly.

  
“Mommy?” They turned to see their 5 year old son staring at them eyes wide.

  
“I need help” he looked up at them his shoe laces causing him problems clothes dishevelled. They broke apart reluctantly but couldn’t help smiling at his adorable face.

  
“What happened here?” Hillary smiled as she walked over to him and lifted him onto the bed. “I thought Daddy was helping you get dressed?”

“I wanted to do it myself but I can’t” He said sadly looking at his shoes and mismatched buttons.

  
“Well you’ll learn honey it takes time and lots of practice” She kissed his sad cheek that instantly brightened.

  
“How come daddy can do it?” Peter chuckled at his son as he began to do up his tie.

“Daddy’s had a lot of time to practice. He’s pretty old” Hillary teased which caused her little boy to chuckle and agree with her. Peter walked over to where they were.

  
“And sometimes mommy helps daddy too” Peter pretended to whisper to him.  
“Really?”

“Yep all the time” Peter smiled and put on his suit jacket.

#### 

  
An hour later they walked towards their seats at the ceremony in Stanford and they noticed her ex-husband had already arrived and was accompanied by his fiancé Georgia and a barrage of secret service. He looked up through his sunglasses as his ex-wife approached him hand in hand with her “new” husband, he would always be the new husband to Bill when in fact they had gotten together only months after they had divorced nearly 4 years ago. Peter was carrying their son Evan, he and Hillary had adopted Evan 2 years ago. Bill felt himself staring, wondering what might have been if he was able to just love her better. They had always wanted to have more children but the white house was not the right place to adopt a child.

_  
“I can’t believe I ever wanted to bring another child into this hell of a marriage!” He could still hear her voice screaming at him the night she told him she wanted a divorce._

_  
“We can fix this Hill I know we can.”_

_  
“No! No we can’t. I can’t! I’m sick and tired of fixing everything Bill. I’ve been fixing you for 20 years and you still can’t keep it in your pants. I’m done! I want a divorce!”_

  
Her pained voice was still echoing in his ear and before he knew it she was right beside him. Bill let go of his Fiancé’s hand to stand up as they walked into their seats beside him.

  
“Hi Bill, hi Georgia.” Hillary forced a smile, he really hadn’t changed since she saw him last Christmas except for the few extra grey hairs that had appeared here and there.

  
“Senator Rodham” He smiled charmingly. And she playfully glared at him for being so formal.

“How have you been Hill? You look fantastic” he smiled leaning in to kiss her cheek she felt her stomach flutter and could feel her husband glaring even though he was behind her.

“It seems the Senate is treating you well”

  
“Yea it’s busy but so great” she was about to go into more detail when Georgia pushed in past bill to kiss her cheek, a little to Hillary’s surprise.

“Hi Hillary” She was exactly the type of woman Bills mother had always wanted for him and she wasn’t at all surprised that was who he had ended up with.

  
“Hi, how’ve you all been?”

“Oh great we just got back from Mexico this morning we are exhausted” Georgia moaned taking her seat beside bill.

  
“Hi Peter” Bill smiled falsely as he reached to shake his hand which Peter took after letting Evan down from his arms. All Bill managed to get from peter was a civil “Bill” before he turned to Georgia.

  
“Hi Evan, you’ve grown so tall” Bill smiled at the boy who was holding his mother’s leg.

  
“Yep I’m 5” the boy smiled holding up 5 fingers.

“Five” bill exclaimed. “Wow five is really grown up”

“I’m the smartest boy in the world” He smiled proudly which made bill chuckle.

  
“Why are you laughing” He frowned at him.

  
“He’s not laughing at you Evan he’s agreeing with you? Right bill?”

  
“Mommy said so and mommy knows everything” Evan said matter of factly making his mother smile.

  
“Your right Evan your mommy is very smart. I bet you are the smartest boy in the world” Bill smiled standing up to look at Hillary who blushed back at him.

  
“Have you seen Chelsea?” Hillary asked standing on her tip toes to see if she could catch a glimpse of her daughter.

  
“Not yet but it’s about to kick off any minute” Bill said sitting down in his seat as Hillary and Peter took their seats beside him. Peter helping Evan to sit on his knee.

  
Before they knew it the ceremony started and they watched Chelsea receive her B.A Degree in History with the highest honours. Causing both her mother and her father to shed a tear or two out of sheer and utter pride.  
After the ceremony she came down to where they were sitting. Hillary threw her arms around her daughter.

  
“You are so amazing I’m so proud of you baby” She smiled and kissed her cheek.

  
“Thanks mom.” Her daughter chuckled bashfully as she moved to hug her Dad, Who said something to her that Hillary couldn’t quite hear through all the noise going on around them but it made Chelsea smile brightly and kissed his cheek. “Thanks Dad.” She was congratulated by Georgia and Peter and Evan who couldn’t wait to get his hands on her cap to try on.

  
“I think it’s too big for you” Chelsea smiled as she placed it on his head.

  
“It isn’t” He protested even though it kept falling off him. The adults around him chuckling at his cuteness.

  
“So we better make tracks if we want to make our dinner reservation ” Hillary smiled to her daughter but her daughter looked nervously at her father.

  
“Actually Mom, Dad and Georgia aren’t leaving until tomorrow. I was hoping we could all have dinner together? If that’s ok?” she looked at the shocked expression on her mother’s face she knew she should have told her about it yesterday but she didn’t want to risk her saying no.

“Sure. I’m sure we can make room for two more” Hillary plastered a smile on her face and looked at her husband who was trying not to frown.  
“It will be fun” Chelsea smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

 

Chelsea walked through the restaurant to find her mother sitting alone at the table

“Hey where is everyone?” Chelsea smiled sitting next to her.  
  
“Peter took Evan to the bathroom. Where’s your Dad and Georgia?”Hillary looked around expecting them to arrive together.

Chelsea rolled her eyes playfully.  “Well you know Dad he’s standing with people having pictures taken in the lobby and Georgia has been made the photographer” Chelsea giggled. “I didn’t fancy waiting around so here I am. I’m sorry about not telling you sooner they were staying on”  
  
“Don’t worry honey it’s not a problem really”

“I know it isn’t ideal mom but I really appreciate you trying to pretend it is” Chelsea gave her a knowing look as Evan and peter came back from the bathroom.

  
“Chels! I wanna sit beside you!” Evan shouted as he ran over to her.

  
Hillary shhhed him a little “Honey stop yelling we are right here we can hear you.”  
  
“Sorry mommy but I wanna sit beside Chelsea”

  
“Of course you do I’m obviously the coolest person here” Chelsea helped him up onto the chair next to her.

Peter sat next to Hillary “So where are the rest of our guests?” He sighed and kissed her gently as she took his hand and squeezed it pleadingly and he flashed her a reassuring smile as Bill and Georgia came to sit with them. Small talk passed awkwardly for a while until eventually everyone seemed to relax a little a glass of wine or two helping to ease the tension Chelsea was having a great time  and even peter managed to enjoy it a little.

“Honey I’m sorry to break up the party but I’m not feeling great I’m going to go up to bed” Georgia yawned as she stood from her chair.

  
“Ok darlin I’ll be up in a little while” Bill smiled not ready to leave the party just yet as he kissed her hand she said her goodbyes and went off to bed.

“Was it Mexico you said you were on vacation? We were thinking of Cancun in august weren’t we Hill?  Peter asked which made Bill chuckle.

“Actually it was Bermuda, don’t tell Georgia she thought it was in Mexico and I didn’t have the heart to contradict her” Peter and Chelsea laughed but Hillary felt her heart sink. She was stunned, _he brought her to Bermuda? Her? You’ve got to be kidding me,_ Hillary thought. How he could take her or anyone else to a place that was so special to them. The place where they conceived Chelsea, she couldn’t help it, it hurt like hell and she wasn’t doing the best job of hiding the hurt in her heart. She shook herself a little, _I don’t know why your surprised Hillary? He gave Monica a copy of leaves of grass didn’t he? He doesn’t care about any of that besides you aren’t together anymore._

“Bermuda?” She said a hint of sadness in her voice. Chelsea watched her mother’s expression and suddenly remembered Bermuda and its particular relevance in her parent’s marriage.

“Yea, you would love it Hill it’s still such a fantastic place, we went back to that little restaurant you know on the beach and it’s just as good as I remembered it was 25 years ago.” He smiled softly looking into her eyes he swore he saw a tear but she pushed it back in as quick as it formed and he suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

“We were in Bora Bora in April. I’d much prefer Bora Bora than Bermuda it’s stunning.” She quipped back a hint of venom in her voice that she was trying to hide but it was definitely more evident than she had meant it to be as she took a large sip of her wine.

“We swam with all the fishies” Evan smiled remembering his holiday. “and… and we fed the big fish.. What it called Daddy?” He looked up from his Nintendo at Peter who was carefully watching the look that had passed between his wife and her ex-husband. Chelsea noticed and piped up trying to break the tension.

“The stingrays Evan they were cool, weren’t they Mom?” she said trying to snap them out of it. Hillary turned to her suddenly aware of what was going on.  
  
“Yea, they were pretty cool” she said softly forcing a smile to her daughter and son breaking eye contact with Bill who looked around to see Peter staring at him.

“So are we having desert?” Chelsea tried to steer the conversation away from the sore topic hanging in the air.

“Definitely” Peter added looking to his wife.

 “What you say Hill? I think I saw a chocolate fondant come out of the kitchen earlier and it looked right up your street?”  
  
“Yea sure sounds delicious” She forced a smile but in side she had a sinking feeling like she wanted to burst into tears, but she wouldn’t not in front of her husband or even her ex he didn’t deserve it.

“I want chocolate Ice cream” Evan smiled. “Not vanilla… please?” He looked pleadingly at his mother.

“Since it’s a special occasion I think we can make an exception” Hillary smiled at him.

“Yes” The little boy cheered quietly to himself, looking back down to play with his Nintendo.

During desert conversation resumed a few minutes later and the tension eased a little but Hillary was noticeably quieter. Evan had come to sit on her knee and she had noticed it was well past his bedtime as he was rubbing his eyes and yawning every couple of minutes.

“Ok it’s time for bed Evan, say goodnight and I’ll take you to bed.” Hillary smiled kissing her son’s forehead.  
  
“No mommy” he protested but it was interrupted by a yawn.

“Come on sweetie. It’s late it’s already past your bedtime.” She reached for her bag but peter stopped her.

“I’ll take him honey you stay a little while if you want” Her eyes searched his for approval and she was met by a smile.  “I’m sure Chelsea would prefer you to stay here rather than me, besides you will need to have a chat with her about responsible partying tonight” he stuck his lounge out at Chelsea who darted him with a look.

“Thanks a lot Peter” Chelsea joked and Peter laughed. “Anytime” He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll see you tomorrow don’t party too hard ok?” “I won’t” Chelsea smiled at him. Despite the tension between Peter and Bill Chelsea was extremely fond of him and how happy he had made her mom.

Hillary looked up as peter kissed her cheek and stood to pick up Evan “I’ll be up in a little bit” She smiled at them both as Evan gave her a hug and a kiss goodnight. “Night Mommy” “Night baby” she brushed his hair from his face and kissed his cheek. Bill watched her interact with Evan and he felt himself smile. God she was such an amazing mother he wanted nothing more to have more children with her. He felt himself staring as peter picked Evan up to bring him to bed. Hillary watched two of them as they left the dining room Evan waving to her cutely as they went and she couldn’t help but giggle at his cuteness, Bill watched her face as it glowed with pride and that pang of guilt was suddenly back as he found himself beginning to wonder what things would have been like if they had managed to work things out. Would another child really have happened for them?

#####

The three of them talked for over an hour reliving memories of Chelsea’s childhood, family summer holidays and ballet recitals until they were laughing like the happy family they always were.

“So Marc flew in for your graduation? That’s nice" Her mom questioned and Chelsea sighed her eyes flying wide.

“Peter tells you everything!” Chelsea groaned which made Hillary laugh.

“Of course he does, why didn’t you invite him for dinner with us?”

Bill cleared his throat and sat up straighter in his chair his eyes widening a little before he added “What’s going on here?”

“Nothing we are just friends stop. He’s not here for my graduation we all have a lot of mutual friends. ” Chelsea looked at her father.

“Who’s marc? Who are these friends?”

“Don’t start daddy” Bill held his hands up and Hillary smirked. 

“You know, Marc Mezvinsky, Edward and Marjorie’s son?” Hillary winked at him to play along and he did.

“Since when have you been dating him?”

“Dad we are not dating. We are friends and we went to college together that is all. Mom stop it.” Chelsea begged. “We have been friends for years there is a big group of us you’re making it out to be far more than it is.”

“I said nothing all I said was isn’t it nice he flew in for graduation” Hillary giggled smiling at Bill across the table who couldn’t help but laugh.  

Chelsea smiled shaking her head.  “You two are terrible”

“You know though if you were to date Marc you could totally bring him for dinner with us” Hillary teased.

“I would have to get the secret service to rough him up a bit first though.” Bill smirked.

“Ok that’s it. I’m going to meet my friends before you two embarrass me anymore” Chelsea smiled and hugged her parents.

“Thank you so much for the best day. I love you guys.”

  
“Hang on I’ll get the service to take you where you need to go” Bill called over one of his guys.

“Honey be careful please. I know your celebrating but..” Chelsea interrupted her.  
  
“Mom.. I’ll be fine ok. I love you. Meet you for brunch tomorrow? ”  
  
“Definitely. I love you too and I’m so proud of you” Hillary kissed her cheek.

“Thanks Dad. See you tomorrow” she hugged him tightly.

“I love you baby” He smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Dean will take you to your party ok?” She nodded and left. “Bye”

As the two of them looked at each other a sudden sense that their little girl wasn’t a little girl any more they looked into each other’s eyes a little longer than necessary before Hillary broke it. 

“Well I’d better go on up” Hillary said.

“Or you could join me for a drink? Not every day your little girl graduates college?” Bill smiled at her.

“I really should go help Peter.”  
  
“It’s just a drink Hill. What do you say?” Bill smiled and she melted just as she always did.

“Ok, Ok. Just the one though. “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments and Kudos. I really appreciate it. I hope you enjoy the next chapter.  
> :)


	3. Chapter 3

She was surprised how easily she relaxed around him. It was just like it was all those times before, stories, laughter and suddenly she was a young girl again. He could always make her laugh like nobody else, she both hated and loved him for it.  
“Evan’s a great Kid” Bill smiled as he watched her whole face light up at the thought of her little boy.  
“He really is. I don’t know how we got so lucky”  
“You’re living in DC full time now?  
“No we are still in Chappaqua” She sighed.  
“I commute back and forth to DC”  
“That can’t be easy”

“It’s not easy being away from Evan so much but I am a New York Senator after all and Peter works in the City so it doesn’t make sense to uproot everyone and I try to be home as much as I can. Evan loves his school and his friends and Chappaqua is wonderful, it’s just being away from them so much that’s the hard bit. But Peter’s great and he takes care of everything when I’m not around. ” He noticed a little sadness in her voice and he reached over to touch her hand and she let him against her better judgement she smiled a little and looked away.  
“How’s it being back in Arkansas?”  
“It’s good, feels a bit strange even now. Like the world has shifted but everything there is so much like it always was”  
“Backward?” She chuckled.  
“Ouch, come on you loved it there” He smiled and she nodded in agreement.  
“I did, I really did but….. It was an adjustment, I wasn’t like Georgia” Bill cocked his eyebrow.  
“Hang on I’m not saying anything bad it’s just that we are so different, you know your mama would be so happy if you brought her home instead of me back then. She would have been arranging your wedding after 5 minutes of meeting her” Hillary smirked and sipped her wine.  
“Well I wouldn’t change that part of my life for anything, we were happy” He looked in her eyes seriously.  
“We had our moments” She couldn’t return his stare, they had been happy but it was no walk in the park.  
A bottle of red wine later and they had moved to the bar where the Scotch was flowing a little too steadily for her liking she was starting to get lightheaded but she hadn’t laughed so much in so long and she was enjoying herself too much to care.  
“God I’ve missed you Hill, we really should do this more often ya know?” Bill smiled as he watched her laughing while playing with the glass in front of her.  
“I don’t think divorced couples are supposed to go for drinks together. Can you imagine the press getting hold of it? They would have a field day” She smirked taking a sip of her drink and he laughed.  
“Why not? Screw the press. Since when did you ever care what they thought? Have you gone soft on me?”

“I don’t care about what the press think”  
“Then screw them” He held his glass up to her and she clicked her glass on his.  
“But… but I don’t think my husband or your fiancé would be keen on the idea” she raised her eyebrow.  
“Why not?”  
“Oh come on you know perfectly well. It’s just… not what divorced couples are expected to do”  
“So why do we have to conform to public opinion?” He said arrogantly.  
“Oh please? You didn’t say that when you needed me to take your surname in 86” She smirked remembering how much fun teasing him with that was.  
“That… that was a different time and you know it.”  
“I don’t think it was that long ago Bill. You underestimate how much the world has moved on.”  
“The world has moved on enough, besides Toto were not in Arkansas any more” He winked at her and she giggled.

“We certainly aren’t” she smiled and finished her drink. “We’ve all moved on” She said softly.

“Ready for another?” He said enthusiastically.  
“No no!” she protested. “I’ve already had half a bottle of red wine and 3 whiskeys more than the 1 drink I agreed to, thank you but I’m going to have to go to bed” She could see the disappointment on his face before he smirked at her.

“Hillary you disappoint me, you always held your liquor so well”  
“Don’t you try and Clinton me” he shrugged innocently and she laughed as she picked up her shawl from the back of the chair as she stood up a little ungracefully.  
“I know exactly what you’re trying to do”  
“Oh yea? What’s that?” He leaned over to her a little more.  
“You’re trying to trick me into showing you that I can hold my liquor when we both know I can’t. Never could” She wasn’t lying and she found that as soon as she stood up she started to sway a little, her legs not co-operating with her brain.  
“Here, I’ll walk you upstairs” He finished his drink and picked up his jacket from the back of the chair.  
“I’m fine, I’m perfectly capable of getting to my room” He tried to hold back his laugh as he watched her sway a little even though she thought she was standing still.  
“I’m going that way anyway.” He held out his arm to her. “Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder hilly” she burst into giggles at that statement and linked her arm in his.  
“Fine, but only because I don’t want you hurting yourself by trying to lift me.” She laughed as they walked towards the elevator secret service in tow. Truth be told she had forgotten they were even there. They checked the elevator and cleared it for them to get inside as they went in she pressed the button for her floor leaning up against the wall beside it for a bit of stability.  
“Can I ask you something?” She said quietly in an almost childlike way looking up with him from under her eyelashes.

“You can ask me anything darlin?”  
“Why did you take Georgia to Bermuda?” he was speechless, that was the last thing he expected her to say.  
“Hillary I...” he paused.  
“After everything? How special it was to us? You could have gone anywhere in the world, why did you bring her there?” She looked at him sadly her eyes full of tears the copious amounts of scotch aiding her honesty.

“I….I.. I’m Sorry” he closed the gap between them and gently placed his hands either side of her face. “Please don’t cry” he rubbed her two stray tears away with his thumbs.  
“I always remembered it being so amazing and I wanted to go back there, I was not trying to replace what we had with anyone else Hillary, I never could” Bill sighed swallowing hard the lump that was stuck in his throat.  
“I would never want to. I couldn’t stop thinking about you when we were there, you were everywhere” he whispered as he looked into her sad eyes he felt like he was going to drown.  
“Honey, I never wanted to hurt you” He leaned down slowly and found she wasn’t pulling away from him he placed a tender kiss on her lips and another until she kissed him back just as gently at first until she found her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him to her, suddenly they were moving in perfect sync with each other as they had always been, tongues tangled slowly devouring each other. Until they were abruptly brought back to reality by the noise of the elevator reaching her floor and she pushed him backwards both of them completely breathless.  
“You never do” she whispered looking up into his eyes for a brief second before she took off down the corridor and he was hot on her heals.

“Hillary wait!” She turned to him furiously “will you be quiet, there are people sleeping” She whispered angrily.  
“Go to bed Bill.”  
“No you can’t just leave like this” He whispered back as she began to walk further down the corridor towards her room.  
“Yes I can. Go back to your fiancé”  
“What if I don’t want to” He pulled her arm back to him stopping her in her tracks and stepping in front of her to block her path.  
“That’s your decision” she pulled her arm away from him and tried to move again but he stood in her way.  
“I love you, nobody will ever love you like I do. Let’s try again? What do you say?  
“You’re insane do you know that? Stop it just… stop it” She said desperately looking up to meet his eyes she shook her head.  
“I love my husband”  
“Not how you love me” he tried to take her face in his hands but she pushed them away before he could.

“You’re such an arrogant son of a bitch you know that?”  
“Tell me I’m wrong and I’ll leave you alone?”  
“I don’t have to tell you anything, get out of my way” she pushed him and he stumbled a little backwards enough for her to push past him and get to her room door before she disappeared inside it and leaned against it for a moment, her heart that was pounding in her ears, everything was spinning in front of her. Thankfully peter wasn’t in the living room, she really hoped he was sleeping. Hillary took some slow steadying breaths, how could she have gotten into this mess with Bill of all people. She was so angry with herself, God knows what Peter would do when he finds out, if he finds out she told herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update.  
> Thanks for all of your lovely comments and Kudos. :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little update since I haven't updated in so long :) 
> 
> Thanks for your lovely comments and Kudos :)

She kicked off her heals and laid her shawl on the back of the sofa before looking in on Evan who was sleeping soundly one arm hanging off the side of the bed and one leg sprawled out the other side. Hillary couldn’t help but smile to herself at her little boy. She walked over to the bed quietly and tucked him back in bringing his arm up beside him and moving it back under the blanket gently but he stirred and looked up at her sleepily.  
“Mommy?”  
“Shhh” she kissed his forehead.  
“You smell funny” He wrinkled his nose as he looked up at her sleepily.  
“I just spilled some wine, you go to sleep ok?” Hillary smiled at his innocent little face as he nodded and kissed his cheek.  
“I love you” She smiled sadly at her little boy.  
“Love you Mommy” He snuggled his teddy bear and went back to sleep almost instantly.

Hillary watched him for a few minutes before walking towards her bedroom door praying silently that Peter would already be asleep she took a deep breath and opened it quietly finding him sitting up in bed reading a book.

“Hi Honey” She put on a wide smile and walked towards the bathroom.  
“Hey, I thought you got lost” Peter said softly not looking up from his book.  
“I just had a drink with Bill when Chelsea left for her night of partying” she said as casually as she could manage making her way to the bathroom to take off her make up.  
“Since when do you have drinks with Bill?”  
“I don’t need permission to have drinks with the father of my child.” She snapped. It came out a lot harsher than she meant and she immediately regretted it closing her eyes tightly gripping the sink for stability she felt like the walls were closing in on her.  
“Where did that come from?” Peter put his book down and followed her to the bathroom where she was looking into the mirror. Her body still swaying a little from the amount of alcohol she had drank.  
“I’m sorry I’m just tired ok?” She sighed eyes closing she hung her head trying to take some deep breaths but having her eyes closed made her head spin even more.  
“Are you drunk?” Peter frowned.  
“No I’m fine.” Hillary said defensively. Peter went and got her a glass of water and closed the lid of the toilet.  
“Here sit down” he guided her back to sit down and handed her a glass of water. She looked up at him as all three of him wet a cold flannel for her head and placed it to her forehead gently.  
“You been hitting the hard stuff?” He joked knowing she couldn’t hold her drink and she nodded softly and she began to cry.  
“No need for tears. It’s ok.” Peter reached over and kissed her cheek wiping her tears.  
“You don’t have to be so nice to me” and he chuckled.  
“Whys that?”  
“Because I’m an awful wife” Peter shook his head.  
“You’re the best wife in the world. Come on let’s get you to bed huh?” He helped her to her feet and walked with her back to the bedroom.  
“I’m not…I don’t deserve you” Peter unzipped her dress which she stood out of before he helped her into her nightie.  
“And what makes you think I deserve you?”  
“You deserve better than me” She sniffed sadly.  
“Hey stop that, I love you” He kissed her gently on the forehead and helped her into her side of the bed and walked around his side of the bed and turned off the light.  
“I’m sorry” Hillary whispered softly closing her eyes as soon as she hit the pillow.  
“What do you have to be sorry for?” he wrapped his arms around her from behind pulling her to him but she was already asleep.

The next morning Hillary woke up with a groan. Her head was throbbing, the light that was peering through the crack in the curtains felt like it was piercing into her soul. She rolled over onto her back pushing down the nauseous feeling in her stomach she noticed she looked over at Peter sleeping beside her and suddenly the memories of what happened last night came flooding back. Dear god what was she thinking, kissing Bill was a total disaster. She thought she had firmly closed that open book years ago, she silently cursed herself for letting him get under her skin and sat up tentatively in the bed. And checked the time on her phone seeing two new messages from Bill  
**_Hill I need to talk to you. B_**  
 ** _You can’t just run away Hill! Please just talk to me? B_**  
She felt her stomach flip, Bill wouldn’t tell Peter. Would he? No, no he wouldn’t do that to her. She put her phone back on the bedside locker as Peter felt the bed shift next to him and stirred from his sleep.  
“Morning” he yawned stretching out on the bed.  
“Morning” Hillary grumbled her voice still full of sleep.  
“Someone had fun last night at least?” He smirked looked at the bewildered face on his wife.  
“Please don’t Peter I feel awful” the pounding in her head getting worse as she swung her legs over the side and reached the floor.  
“Hey come back…” he reached for her but she was already off the bed.  
“I need a shower I feel like death.” She went straight for the shower, surely that would make her feel better.

Letting the water wash over her she debated whether to tell Peter about the kiss. Hillary knew he would be furious and it wouldn’t end well for her or Bill in that scenario, she hated keeping secrets from Peter it was just not how they worked they had always been honest with each other but she knew it would destroy him and she couldn’t do that to him.

Thirty Minutes later she examined herself in the mirror. Hair styled make up applied dressed in a fluffy bathrobe she looked somewhat normal even if she didn’t feel it. She left the bathroom and wandered to the closet to find something to wear.  
Peter watched her emerge from his spot on the bed and followed her wrapping his arms around her “Are you ok?” he pulled her over to him.  
“I’m fine just a little worse for wear” He could feel her tense in his arms.  
“That’s all?”  
“Of course what else?” She turned to look at him and gave him an unconvincing smile as she rested her hands on his bare chest.  
“I’m fine baby, really” she pecked his lips gently and turned back to the closet and picked out a pink blouse and some white pants and began to get dressed.

“So are you going to tell me how your big night with your ex-husband went?” Hillary sighed as she turned for him to do up the button on the back of her blouse. Swallowing the distinct feeling he knew more than he was letting on, she wasn’t sure if it was just her paranoia but she decided not to listen to it.  
“It went fine nothing exciting”  
“If you’re sure” He kissed the side of her neck sensing she didn’t want to talk about it and headed off to the bathroom to shower as Evan came into the bedroom full of energy.  
“Mommy I’m hungry!” Hillary winced the tenderness of her headache piercing as her son smiled enthusiastically at her fully dressed by himself and she couldn’t help but smile.  
“Shh baby please don’t yell, did you get dressed all by yourself” He nodded.  
“Yep, can we go now?”  
“Daddy’s gone for a shower and when he’s done we can go ok?”  
“But I’m hungry now” He whined.  
“Ok, ok” I’ll just grab my shoes and we can go.” Hillary told Peter they were going and he could follow them to breakfast.  
A few minutes later she walked into the breakfast room with Evan and her stomach flipped when she saw Bill sitting alone with no sign of his wife.  
“Mommy can I have coco pops?” Bill heard Evan’s voice as he looked up from his newspaper, wasting no time he crossed the dining room towards them.  
“Mommy you’re not listening. Can I have coco pops?”  
“No, you can have oatmeal” Hillary held his hand and walked over to where the cereals were laid out.  
“No fair”  
“If you eat the oatmeal I’ll let you have some pancakes”  
“With lots of syrup?”  
“A little syrup”  
“No a lot”  
“Evan,” Hillary could feel her patience wavering.  
“Good morning” Bill smiled at Evan and tried to catch Hillary’s eye but she wouldn’t look at him.  
“Morning.” Evan smiled up at Bill as Hillary handed him some orange juice.  
“Sweetie why don’t you take your juice and sit at the table over there and I’ll be over in a minute ok? Be careful don’t spill it. ”  
“Ok mommy” Evan walked across the room to the table carefully trying not to spill his glass of juice.  
“Hilla..”  
“Don’t.. I’m not talking to you about this, we were both drunk and it was a huge mistake so let’s forget about it and move on ok?” She still couldn’t look him in the eye and went about getting some oatmeal for Evan and some fruit for herself.  
“No I don’t want to forget it and move on, and you may have had a few drinks but you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.” Hillary sighed and looked up to him sadly.  
“Bill, I love my husband, what we had was a long, long time ago and we have both moved on so please I am begging you just let it be ok?”  
“I don’t believe you” He shook his head moving closer to her.  
“You don’t get to just walk away and pretend nothing happened.” He was looking at her intensely a heated anger in his eyes.  
“Is that a threat?” She raised an eyebrow looking around to make sure nobody was listening.  
“Did you tell your husband whom you love so much that you kissed me last night?”  
“You kissed me” She said quietly and between her teeth afraid anyone would hear her.  
“And I swear to God Bill if you breathe a word to him I will kill you myself” She picked up the tray in front of her and walked off over to where Evan was sitting. Not noticing Peter who had observed from a distance the slightly hostile exchange between his wife and her ex-husband.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

Hillary sat beside Evan and began picking at her fruit but it was doing nothing to settle her stomach. She didn’t know if it was the hangover or the fact that she was just sick with herself for what happened last night. She put the fork down and sipped her coffee not noticing Peter who came to sit with them.  
  
“Daddy, Mommy said I can have pancakes!” Evan smiled at his father who was coming in their directing with his own breakfast.

“Only if you finish your oatmeal bud” Peter smiled at him and watched him try to eat as quickly as he could.

“It’s not a race baby, take your time.” Hillary smiled at him and poured Peter some coffee.  
“So, what were you and Bill arguing about?” Peter said casually as he added some milk to it. Hillary felt her heart jump into her throat.

“What?”  
“just now you looked like you were having a pretty intense argument over there?” Peter looked at her innocently.  
“Oh you know, when I’m around him for more than 24 hours I realise all of the reasons why I divorced him” She rolled her eyes playfully and smiled at her husband. “Nothing to worry about just Bill being Bill”.

“What was it about?” he could tell she was lying to him. She didn’t do it very often but when she did he could tell.  
“Well, if you insist.” She sighed  
“He want’s Chelsea to spend Christmas and New Year with him this year. I tried to tell him we’ve already booked our trip to Europe but he was insisting since she was with us last year”

“Well it’s too late, we have it booked and Chelsea is really looking forward to it.”

“I know, I’ve told him but he won’t drop it. Look it’s Chelsea’s decision at the end of the day and she’s looking forward to it so it’s best if she tells him herself”  
“Yea, probably for the best” Hillary let a silent sigh of relief as Peter began to read the newspaper appearing satisfied with her lies, God she hated this. But she just had to get through today and she would be back home and things could just go back to normal.

 

A week later they had settled back at home, Hillary was working in her Washington office. Her assistant Paul knocked on the door and peaked his head around the corner.

“I’m sorry to bother you Senator I know you are busy but the President Clinton is here to see you. He said it was urgent” she looked up from her computer and sighed. Hillary knew he had been far too quiet after the way they had left things it wasn’t like him to leave things like that.  
“Ok, you can send him in” she sat up a bit straighter in her chair as Bill walked casually through the door.  
“Hi Hilly” He smiled.

“Bill, what you are doing here?” She took off her glasses and put them down on the desk next to the computer trying to remain as composed and stone faced as she possibly could.  
“I thought I’d take you to lunch?” He smiled unbuttoning his blazer he sat down on couch opposite her desk crossing his legs and resting his chin on his right hand.

“You told my assistant it was urgent?”  
“It is, dinner then?”  
“Bill, I’m not going to dinner with you”  
“but I’ve come all this way?”

“What did you need me for that was so urgent that you had to come all the way to Washington and doorstop me?”

“I’m just asking for one dinner? That’s all come on I’ll pick you up at 7?” His charming smile looked back at her and she knew he wouldn’t leave until he got what he wanted.

“Bill you know if were seen having dinner in Washington it will be on every newspaper from here to Timbuctoo in 20 minutes flat.”

“And what’s so wrong with that?”  
“Bill be serious.”

“One dinner Hillary? That’s all I’m asking for”

“Fine, you can come over to the house I’m not going to a restaurant.”

“Deal” He smiled. “What time do you want me?” He was teasing her with his eyes and a playful smile on his lips. Hillary rolled her eyes at his insinuation.

“You can come over at 8”

“Sounds great I’ll see you tonight”

 

Bill arrived right at 8 he was greeted by Hillary’s housekeeper who showed him into the living room to wait for her as she was on a phone call. Bill took a seat on the couch and looked around her brightly coloured living room, after a few minutes had past he stood up and browsed the walls looking at all of the family pictures that were hung around the room, pictures of Evan and Chelsea as babies, Family pictures of her and Peter with Chelsea and Evan on holiday and at Christmas. Chelsea’s graduation photo from last week already proudly adorned the wall. Then his eyes fell on a picture of Hillary with Peter on their wedding day on a terrace in southern Italy, he smiled to himself, she looked so happy he could still remember how beautiful she had looked on their wedding day just like it was yesterday.

  
“Sorry for keeping you waiting” Hillary appeared behind him as she hung up her phone. Bill looked her up and down, she had changed into some comfy black pants and a plum boat neck cashmere sweater that made her gold earrings sparkle just a little bit more.  
“No problem, you’re working late” Bill turned around quickly moving back towards his earlier seat on the couch.  
“Oh it wasn’t work, Evan is on staying with Peters sister while Peter is away in Europe he wanted to tell me all about his soccer game. He scored two goals” She smiled proudly.

“I just checked with Martha dinner is ready, let’s go through” she showed him to the dining room.  
“You didn’t cook?” He was teasing her now and she knew it and laughed a little.

“You’ll be glad to know I didn’t, do you want something to drink?” she had moved to the bar to pick a bottle of wine.

“Sure, red wine or whatever you’re having is fine. Hillary poured two small glasses and handed him one before sitting opposite him at the table. Dinner was very relaxed, conversation flowed easily after a bit of awkward small talk and a glass of wine. They had moved back to the living room Hillary sat opposite him on the couch facing him, she wasn’t letting herself get too comfortable around him, not after California.  

“So pray tell what was so urgent that you came all the way to Washington?”

“Well, I didn’t like how things ended between us in California. You know I hate unfinished arguments.”

“So you came all the way here to finish fighting with me?” Hillary smirked taking a sip of her wine, which caused him to laugh a little.

“I wouldn’t put it like that, I’d say negotiate a ceasefire?”

“Bill…” She looked down at her hands.

“I can’t play these games with you, I have far too much to lose.”

“I don’t want to play games Hill.”

“Then what do you think you’re doing, can’t we just move on and forget it ever happened”  
“I can’t help how I feel. If I thought for one second that we could work things out and you would take me back I’d do anything” He moved straight across the room to sit next to her.

“It’s not that simple. Apart from the fact that I am very happily married, what we had was a lifetime ago.”  
“It was only 4 years ago Hillary, you don’t love someone like we loved each other for 30  years to just stop loving them one morning.”  
“You know I always loved you….” She sighed sadly tears flooding her eyes. “But it’s not enough, love is not enough.”  
“I’ve changed, you may not believe me but I have. I’m still going to therapy, I know now why I hurt you so badly. It was never you it was always me, I didn’t understand it but I do now. I know you love me so what’s stopping us from trying.”

“I believe you, I do and I don’t doubt that you have worked really hard to turn things around. I’m so proud of you.” She moved her hand up to softly caress his cheek looking into his eyes wanting him to know how genuinely proud of him she really was.

“Then why can’t you give me a chance?”

“I…..” Hillary saw something move in the corner of her eye and turned her head to see Peter standing looking at them an angry confused look in his eyes that she had never seen before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos. I'm so happy your enjoying this. :D


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter before the weekend, have a great one and thank you so so much for reading and for all of the lovely kudos and comments.   
> Enjoy :)

Chapter 6

Hillarys hand dropped like it had touched a hot coal and Bill followed her gaze to see Peter as looked furiously from one to the other of them small suitcase still in hand dropping it on the floor he took to large steps toward them, causing Hillary to stand quickly and walk towards them.

  


“Honey what? What are you doing here?”  
“I came a day early to surprise you. What’s going on here?”

“She looked at Bill and back to her” Hillary stood and walked to him placing her hands on his chest in an attempt to stop him in his tracks.

“Have you been…. Sleeping with him?” He couldn’t manage to get the words out caught somewhere between utter rage and heart break, He couldn’t even look her in the eye, for fear he would see something he wouldn’t want to see.

“No..no no!! I am not sleeping with him I swear.. Peter I swear” She made him look at her.

“I’m not sleeping with him. He was in town and wanted to have dinner, I didn’t want to go to a restaurant and cause a scene with the press so we had dinner here. That’s all.”

“Hillary you need to tell him the truth, we did kiss.” Bill chipped in standing to his feet.

“You what?!” Peter yelled looking at Hillary hoping she was going to deny it. Peter pushed past her and grabbed Bill by his shirt. “I thought I told you to stay the hell away from my wife!” Bill pushed him off him but he was quick to respond and punched him right on the cheek bone causing bill to respond and punched him back bursting Peter’s lip open.

“Stop it!! Stop it right now!” Hillary yelled at them furiously and they seemed to listen to her both were trying to catch their breath.

“Are you ok?” Hillary reached her hand to his lip but he pushed her hand away and she sighed.

“Bill I think you better leave.”

“He’s not going anywhere” Peter yelled. “Not until both of you tell me what the fuck is going on here!”   
“We..we did kiss.” Hillary said softly “It was one kiss and I was so drunk. You know how drunk I was that night.”

“What night? Wait a minute.. The night of Chelsea’s graduation? You kissed your ex-husband almost a week ago and are having dinner with him in my house and it means nothing? ”

 

Peter pushed her arms away from him and turned away from her as he began to pace the floor rubbing away the blood that was running down his chin.

“Yes ok I know how it sounds, but it was one kiss, that’s it that’s all it was and I haven’t seen or spoken to him until today. I swear!” Hillary’s eyes filled with tears.

“Oh well that’s fine then!!”  Peter sighed sarcastically.

“Peter he just showed up at my office today and invited himself to dinner I didn’t plan this”

“You didn’t think to tell me any of this?”  
“I didn’t want to upset you”

“And I’m not upset now? Jesus Hillary!!” Hillary felt tears welling up in her eyes.

“Bill can you leave us” He nodded gently and smiled at her sadly before he took his coat and left. Hillary wiped her tears and looked at her husband sitting on the couch head in his hands. She went and got an ice pack and came to sit beside him tentatively, almost afraid of spooking him.

“Honey, I’m so sorry”

“I can’t even look at you right now” he looked up at her and she tilted his head back placing the ice pack on his swollen lip.

“Please…”

“What is all of this about? Why did you do this?” He looked at her sadly.

“If I could explain it I would but.. I can’t. I was so drunk and stupid, it was a huge mistake.”

“Aren’t you happy?” her heart broke, she was happy she was unbelievably happy.

“Of course I’m happy, I’ve been happy since the day I met you.”  
 “But what? I have never measured up to Bill?”

“Peter stop it. I don’t compare you”

“Well what is it then?!” He yelled at her out of frustration but felt bad when he saw her wince.

“I’m sorry I just… I don’t know what more you want from me Hillary? I love you so much and I would go to the ends of the earth to make you happy, but maybe… maybe I just.. can’t”

“Don’t you dare say that, you can! You do! Everyday I’m so happy with you I love you more than anything that’s not what this is about.”  
“Then tell me what it’s about? Tell me? Because you don’t just go around making out with your ex-husband, having secret dinner dates with him when your happily married!”  
  
“Peter I don’t know” she rubbed her eyes sore and swollen from crying.  

“You know the worst thing is? You didn’t tell me. If Bill didn’t say anything you would have happily lied to me about it for god knows how long”

“I wanted to tell you. I just didn’t want to hurt you. I was so embarrassed and angry with myself. That’s not who I am. I don’t hide things from you.. not ever” Peter laughed bitterly.

“How do I know that? I feel like I don’t know you at all” Hillary was so Embarrassed and guilty she didn’t understand why it happened but she knew just how much her husband was hurting right now and that made it even worse, they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity before Peter finally broke it standing up abruptly.

“I should go.”

“What do you mean? Where are you going?” She stood up with him and followed him as he walked to his suitcase.  
“Home”

“You are home.”  
“Home to Chappaqua. I’ll pick Evan up from Rachel’s tomorrow”

“Please don’t go” She began to cry silent tears flowing once more down her cheeks “We need to talk about this”

“I think a few days apart would be best right now, maybe you should spend the weekend here”   
“No.. I want to come home. Peter, please? I’m so so sorry. I love you and the last thing I’d ever want is to hurt you”

“It’s a bit late for that now”

“Honey Please” She reached out to hug him, surprised that he let her. “I love you so much please, please don’t go” Peter looked down at her tear stained cheeks, eyes red and puffy from crying. She was properly sobbing in his chest no matter how angry he was at her right now he couldn’t leave her alone in this state he wouldn’t.

“Ok. I'll stay" He found himself wrapping his arms around her tiny frame protectively and she leaned into him her sobs subsiding a little. She knew it was going to be a long night, and she knew she couldn't leave things with Bill as they were, she needed to sort this mess out. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Hillary woke up to an empty bed she sat upright quickly allowing her eyes to adjust to her surroundings, reaching for her phone to check the time it read 4:02am. With a sad sigh she pulled herself from the bed and slid her legs over the side finding her slippers she walked to the end of the bed and pulled on her silk robe, padding quietly down stairs she knew she’d find him in the study and she wasn’t wrong. He was lying back in the office chair feet on the desk staring at the ceiling top shirt buttons open still fully dressed and she knew by him he hadn’t moved since she left him two hours earlier the half full glass of scotch on the desk was the only thing different about the room. Peter saw her silhouette from the corner of his eye and turned to look at her standing perched against the doorframe.

“Honey won’t you come to bed?”  
“I’m not too tired, It’s 3pm in Paris” He yawned ironically bringing the glass to his lips and taking a drink as she walked to the dry bar and poured herself a glass of the same and moving to sit opposite him on the desk.  
“Well if it’s 3pm somewhere” She smiled at him and he couldn’t help but return it as she sipped her whiskey.  
“You go back to bed I’ll finish up here and be up in a while” His sad smile broke her heart.  
“Peter I…” she began but couldn’t look at him and began to stare down at the tumbler in her hands.  
“I’m so sorry” She looked up at him eyes full of tears.  
“I know you are, but it doesn’t hurt any less. I’m just.. I thought we were so happy, that’s what scares me the most I never any of this coming” Peter rubbed his tired face with his hand.  
“We are happy. I’m happy with you Peter”  
“Hillary...” He sighed loudly. “If that were true we wouldn’t be here right now.”  
“Look I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, I’m not going to tell you I don’t feel something for Bill. Of course I do we’ve known each other for 30 years, he’s Chelsea’s Dad, and I loved him so much but love isn’t enough. Look the whole world knows our problems. Do I wish it was all different? That he didn’t do what he did, of course I do. But I do not regret our divorce, and I do not for one second regret falling in love with you, you make me so happy. Our family is the most important thing in my life and I know I’ve fucked up but I will do absolutely anything to fix this. This is where I want to be, nowhere else. Tell me what to do, I’ll do anything.” He reached for her hand and put the glass down beside her.  
“Come here” he gently pulled her from her perch on the desk to sit on his knee. She reached her hand to his forehead to stroke his hair.  
“Please just tell me how to fix this” Resting her forehead to his gently.  
“I don’t know hill….. But we will figure it out” peter held her face in his hands and kissed her gently at first but passion growing every second, he just needed her. He needed the connection to prove to himself he hadn’t lost her. 

A few hours later Hillary awoke wrapped in her husband’s arms she was so tired and had no desire to move, she had little choice when her phone started to vibrate on the nightstand. Knowing she was already far late for work she slowly and carefully wriggled out of Peters grasp and picked up the phone. Her heart stopped when she saw who was calling quietly she pulled her robe on and went to the bathroom closing the door behind her taking a steadying breath before she answered. 

“Bill why are you calling me?”  
“To see how you are.. We didn’t finish our conversation last night”   
“I can’t talk to you right now, Peter is asleep in the next room”  
“Will you come over? Please? Just give me 30 minutes we have to talk about this. I’m flying to California tonight. ” She knew he was right they had to sort this out but she also knew that Peter would flip out if she told him she was going to see Bill.   
“Ok” she sighed. “I don’t know when but I’ll see what I can do”  
“Thanks, I’ll be here until 7”   
“Ok. Bye” She hung up and looked in the mirror the far too few hours’ sleep she had was evident in her eyes she opened the door and peaked around it Peter was blinking tiredly at her. 

“Who was that?” He had overheard much of her conversation even though she had tried to be quiet.  
“It was Bill” she said honestly. “He wants to see me before he leaves”  
“You’re not going” He sat up quickly anger all over his face and it was starting to rise in her too. Nobody told her what to do, especially not her husband and she wasn’t going to start jumping through hoops.   
“Excuse me?” she cocked an eyebrow.   
“I said you’re not going to meet him Hillary and I’m not kidding”   
“Don’t tell me what to do Peter” she walked to the wardrobe to find clothes as Peter got up from the bed pulling on his boxers and followed her.   
“So it’s not bad enough you’ve humiliated me with all of this you’re going to see him?” Hillary pulled out a pair of black pants and a pink jumper and pulled them on quickly.   
“Peter, I am going to draw a line under this mess. Bill is flying to California tonight I’m going to talk to him to make sure all of this forgotten about, if you have a problem with it that’s your problem not mine.”  
“Hillary I’m asking you not to go”   
“Oh really? A minute ago you were telling me” She walked past him and back to the bathroom.   
“I’m not telling you I’m asking you” Peter followed her.  
“Don’t try and back pedal Peter.”  
“Don’t you get how fucking frustrating this is for me!?” he pulled at her arm turning her around to face him.   
“Of course I do but I’m not going to leave all of this unresolved tension hanging around and you aren’t going to tell me what to do”  
“Bill calls and you drop everything, you want run back to him that’s fine. But I’m not going to sit here waiting for you” he walked out of the room and back to the bedroom getting dressed as quickly as he could   
“What is that supposed to mean?”  
“I’ve had enough of this bullshit, I’m going home you stay here with him if you want”   
“Stop over-reacting?”  
“Are you kidding me right now? Put yourself in my shoes. You come home from DC and found me wrapped up on the couch with Rachel and I had kissed her, someone I shared a life with so not exactly just a stupid mistake and I was dropping everything to run back to her hotel right now. Are you saying you wouldn’t be pissed off?”  
“It’s not the same and you know it.”  
“How the fuck is it not the same Rachel and I were together for 10 years? So we weren’t your amazing marriage with the president of the United States but it was just as important to me I loved her”  
“Well if you loved her so much why don’t you go back to her then!?”   
“That’s what you want? Fine!” Peter stormed out of the bedroom slamming the door behind him. Hillary winced as the door slammed and she willed herself not to cry, she was too angry right now. If she started she knew she wouldn’t stop. 

The Secret service agent opened Bills hotel room door for her, they had been expecting her.   
She walked in to find him on the phone in the living room. He smiled as he saw her come in and quickly finished his phone call. 

“Sorry about that” He noticed she nervously stood at the far side of the room not looking at him, face expressionless, almost sad.   
“Is everything ok?” she shook her head looking down, the tears she had been holding in were falling in constant streams down her face Bill quickly walked to her and wrapped her in his arms.  
“Hey hey, it’s alright”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of your lovely comments sorry it's taken so long to update :)


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
Bill held her not speaking just holding her gently rubbing her back in small circles, until she pulled back and wiped her eyes.  
“I’m sorry”  
“Don’t be sorry darlin, its ok”  
“It’s not ok Bill, none of this is ok” Hillary wiped her eyes and sat on the edge of the couch opposite him.  
“What happened?”  
“I told Peter I was coming to see you before you left, he didn’t take it very well and well he’s gone back home”  
“I see”  
“I was trying to be honest to him and not lie about where I was going and well, things were said. He forbade me to come and I think I was just so pissed off about him telling me what to do that I ended up making things worse” Bill started to laugh and she looked up at him with confusion on her face.  
“What’s so funny?”  
“The thought of anyone forbidding you to do anything, it only makes you more determined. ” he smiled shaking his head as he sat next to her and she smiled sadly.  
“And here I was thinking you came to tell me you loved me.”  
“Bill” Hillary said sadly looking up at him with tears still evident in her eyes.  
“Please don’t make this hard, I came because I want us to all move on from this. We need to get back to our lives.”  
“What if I can’t?”  
“You have to”  
“Georgia and I are finished”  
“What? Why?”  
“Because I don’t love her, not like I love you Hill, tell me you’ll have me and I’ll finish with her this minute.”  
“Oh bill don’t be stupid. You don’t ever love two people in the same way. Georgia is everything your mama ever wanted for you, why are you throwing it all away?” That caused him to laugh bitterly.  
“My Mama was never right about who I loved.”  
“You love Georgia, you are just chasing something that’s in the past, don’t get me wrong I love you, you know that I do. I always have and I always will, but we aren’t together any more. We’ve made our decisions we have to live with them”  
“It’s not too late we can make things right”  
“What do you want to do? Run off into the sunset? This isn’t a movie Bill.”  
“So what we stay apart and miserable”  
“I’m not miserable Bill and neither are you. You just want something that doesn’t exist anymore”  
“That’s not true, you felt it too. I know you did”  
“Bill I care about you, please don’t get me wrong I really do. But we are divorced for a reason. I love my husband and I’m happy and I think you are too you if you will just let yourself” He sighed sadly staring at the floor in front of him.  
“Tell me? Were you happy before California?”  
“What?”  
“Before we met in California for the graduation. Were you happy?”  
“Well, Yea I guess so”  
“Bill”  
“Yea I was happy”  
“Then I’m right”  
“As always”  
“Stop it,” She smiled widely slapping him playfully on the arm.  
“It’s time for us to fix this mess. Emotions are unpredictable we never got divorced because we stopped loving each other, we got divorced because there is too much hurt and history for either of us to forget.” Hillary ran her hands over her face tiredly.  
“We can’t keep doing this, Love is fantastic and god knows we’ve shared so much of it. But it’s not everything”  
He nodded in retreat knowing she was right as he looked up at her over the rim of his glasses.  
“I know it’s not, and for what it’s worth I’m sorry, sorry for hurting you for treating you how I did. If I could take it all back I would, you know that right?”  
“I know, I know you’ve changed a lot, I can see that. I just wish you did it 10 years ago.” He looked up to see her fiddling with her hands and he tilted her chin to look up at him.  
“I’m always going to be here for you, I know Peter might not be happy about that but I will always be here.” She nodded gently her sad smile.  
“I don’t know what’s going to happen but thank you” She stood before him.  
“I better get going”  
“You heading to New York”  
“Yea. I’m not supposed to go back until tomorrow but I can’t imagine I’ll be able to do anything useful if I stay here right now. Besides it means getting home to Evan a little earlier” Bill walked with her to the door.  
“When will I see you?”  
“I don’t know”  
“Christmas Maybe?”  
“I’m not sure, were going to Europe to see Peters kids for Christmas”  
“Yea, sorry I forgot. Well let’s just say soon then huh?  
“Yea, Soon” She nodded and he couldn’t help but pull her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head protectively.  
“Take care Bill” her smile warmed his heart and she patted his lapel on his jacket down turning to leave.  
“You too Hill” she flashed him one last smile before leaving he closed the door firmly behind her. 

A few hours later Hillary walked through the door of her Chappaqua home. She wasn’t sure what she was getting into, these kind of fights with Peter were not something she had experienced before, fights before this had usually been on her working too hard or him travelling too much or silly things like what they were having for dinner. This was new territory for both of them. Dropping her suitcase and briefcase in the foyer before kicking off her heals she turned her head when sheheard footsteps rushing towards her. 

“Mommy!!” She smiled widely as Evan came running towards her.  
“Hi Baby! Oh I missed you” he hugged her legs as she tried to rid herself from her coat before reaching down to hug him tightly before picking him and kissing his cheek.  
“Missed you to Mommy”  
“Have you been good?”  
“Yep and I got a medal for soccer!”  
“You did?” She smiled putting him down.  
“Yea I’ll show you”  
“Where’s dad?”  
“Making dinner” He ran off to the direction of his room as she followed the smell of cooking all the way down to the kitchen where she found Peter with his back to her standing over a pot of pasta no doubt.  
“Hi” she said softly entering the room cautiously.  
“Hey” Peter turned to face wiping his hands in a towel before crossing his arms and leaning against the kitchen counter, Hillary found her feet walking towards him and stopping in front of him.  
“I’m sorry” Peter was the first to speak.  
“I’m sorry too, I know I didn’t make things easy and I know I hurt you but I couldn’t leave things like that it’s not fair on Chelsea. Bill and I are the past ok? What happened in California was a mistake, it shouldn’t have happened and I’m sorry I’m so sorry”  
“I know, it’s just … gonna take some work to get past it I guess”  
“Are we ok then?”  
“Yea I guess so, I’m going to have to ask you a favour though.”  
“Sure?”  
“Can you try and keep Bill out of my way. It’s not like I ever warmed to the guy but now I want to punch him in the face even more than I did before.”  
“I can try. But when it comes to Chelsea he’s going to be around, babe he’s a big part of my past I can’t erase him.”  
“I’m not asking you to do that, just… try and keep the gatherings to the three of you though huh? For a while until I feel less like killing him”  
“I can do that” she smiled.  
“Come here” Peter pulled her into his arms and kissed her softly before resting his forehead against hers.  
“I love you”  
“ I love you too” He kissed her forehead gently as Evan came back into the room.  
“Look Mommy it’s got my name on it!” He flashed wide grin and showed her his medal as she let go of Peter and he went back to the food.  
“That is so cool baby” Hillary smiled as she took the medal from him. “I heard about all the goals you scored.  
“I have another game on Saturday, will you come? And daddy? Please” she looked up at Peter and he smiled back at her.  
“Of course we will baby, wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

 

End :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone for reading and commenting and all the kudos I really appreciate it. 
> 
> As much as I wanted Bill and Hill to get back together I couldn't do it! I'm sorry if your disappointed :)


End file.
